I Woke Up Early…

This is the second morning in a row that I’ve been awake before 10 AM.  For those of you who have jobs that might seem a little indulgent, but I had one of those for over 30 years and now I get up when I damned well please.  Unless I inexplicably wake up early.  Then the indulgence turns to sorrow and disjointed thoughts.

When I first woke up I kept having potential blog topics running through my head.  Snippets that were totally unrelated.  For instance, I experienced a bit of guilt about providing so many Walter posts and never giving any blog space to my cats.  But then I let myself off the hook because, after all, the cats are normal pets and Walter is not.  Not by a long shot…

Then I thought about discussing this very unusual boat we are getting.  Do we get a normal boat?  Hell, no!  But that’s a post for another time.  Maybe I’ll do that in a few minutes if I don’t get sleepy.  If sleep doesn’t appear soon, I’ll be a grumpy, sleep-deprived zombie whack job when I write it, so be prepared.  Preparations should include an appropriate hiding place, preferably one with coffee.  Mmmm coffee.  That’s what I want right now but shouldn’t have because I really do want to sleep and cease becoming a grumpy, sleep-deprived zombie whack job.  Who am I kidding?  If I get more sleep I’ll just be a slightly less grumpy zombie whack job who is well-rested.

My next potential topic concerned my obsession with a cell phone game rated for ages 4+.  Stop judging me!    It’s perfectly normal to wait impatiently while my flowers grow and watch for some sort of weird bug/creature to appear.  *checks game*  Why do I wait for weird bugs on virtual flowers?  It’s because collecting enough of them can get you spiffy prizes.  These include outfits I can use to dress my character and furniture I can use to decorate a little campsite.  *checks game*  I am currently behind in my bug collecting and I might not make my quota before tonight and then I will miss out on getting that sandalwood resort hut.  It doesn’t matter that it will probably sit in my virtual inventory and never be used, I want it.  I want it bad.  I don’t just want it, I NEED it!

It occurs to me that not having a schedule might be deleterious to my Age 4+ mind.  I don’t care.  I’m going to get that damned sandalwood resort hut if I have to haunt my phone constantly until 2 AM because that’s when the bugs go away and my chance of getting my NEEDED sandalwood resort hut is gone like a bird on a boat potentially bringing me snacks.  Yeah, it’s a strange game and it really is early in the morning for me, isn’t it?


*This blog has now been interrupted while Walter howls at horses.*  Yes, this is happening real-time.  Did I make this up?  No.  If I had made it up, it would be the start of a Walter post.  Since I am currently a coffeeless, sleep-deprived zombie whack job, I will resist writing another post about Walter, even though horse-howling is a rather interesting topic and does deserve to be explored.  Maybe later…


Back to irregularly scheduled programming.  *checks game* I went to a wedding reception yesterday.  How was that for a non-existent seque?  Get used to it, there will be more.  The reception was a casual affair hosted by the blissful couple at a cottage on a lake in the middle of a savage thunderstorm.  I had cake.

What do you all know about docks?  *checks game* We have to get one for the weird boat and I’m a dock virgin so there are many questions.  I was reading about mooring whips and water agitators and started to fantasize about becoming a dock virgin pond dominatrix.


Yet another Walter interruption.  He has traded in his howling for whining.  There is a Golden Retriever down the road. Even though said retriever can barely be seen, except by him, it doesn’t matter.  The whining continues. Horse-howling is a distant memory.


*boof*  I promise, I’m not even going to give Walter his own paragraphs anymore because he’s just indiscriminately boofing at a spot where a Golden Retriever was…and is not anymore. *checks game* Golden Retrievers are like that.  They have the nerve to move out of Walter’s view, and apparently, that is boof-worthy. *checks game*  Oooh, I got some bugs and a white beach dress as a prize!* Thirty-four bugs to go!  *boof*

Wow!  Did you know that you can get a water-agitating, muck-removing thingmabob?  Neither did I.  I know this subject just randomly popped up but I think it’s important to know that The Aquasweep Muck Blaster starts at only $1195!  I cannot make this stuff up.  *boof* Maybe my potential as a pond dominatrix could be achieved if I got a muck-blasting water agitator.  It does sound sufficiently painful, don’t you think?

*boof..bark…howl*  I wish I could put videos here.  That sound combination is YouTube gold.  It’s not often I get a threefer from Walter.  It’s usually one sound or another, but we have now reached trifecta status in the dog noise emission category this morning.  Stand by for farts.  That’s the only dog noise emission left.  Other dog emissions are not allowed.  If he pees on the sofa again there will be whimpering, and I hate whimpering before coffee.

*low growl boof*  Hey, that’s new.  Walter never ceases to amaze me.  Oh damn, I am actually giving him another paragraph when I promised I wouldn’t.  Oh well, you’d better let me off the hook on this one.  Keep in mind that I’m a pond dominatrix and I can moor-whip you into submission regarding Walter paragraph promises.  If the moor-whipping isn’t sufficient, I’ll get out the Aquasweep Muck Blaster and then you’ll be sorry!






One Happy Camper

I am, by no stretch of the imagination, what one would call a typical gamer.  I don’t know anyone named Mario or Zelda. My wish to commit Grand Theft Auto is nil.  My Final Fantasy isn’t a first-person-shooter.  But…I do have a secret pleasure.  A secret GAMING pleasure.

Years ago, I bought a Wii so I could use it for exercise.  Yeah, you can imagine how far I got with that.  But there was one thing that stuck.  I became addicted to Animal Crossing: City Folk.  That’s my avatar up there.  Cute, huh?

Stop laughing!!!  I know this game is aimed at small children.  I know it’s a massive time-suck.  I know it has no real goals.  You just create a character and wander around a town interacting with villagers who happen to be cartoon animals.   You pick fruit, catch fish and bugs and decorate your little house.  It’s probably the most rambling game ever made…and I love it.  It is so relaxing.  You could visit the towns of your “friends” from all over the world.  Then Nintendo came out with a new gaming system and the old one was discontinued as far as wifi visiting was concerned.

Sigh…I stopped playing, I gave away my Wii, I tried to forget Dogtown.  Yes, I named my town Dogtown.  Does this really surprise anyone who knows me?  Then I found a way to get Animal Crossing on my Mac.  I could play, but it was a simulation and I could never figure out how to connect to anyone else via Wifi. Double sigh…

Then the rumor started to circulate.  There was a glimmer of a chance of a hope that Nintendo “might” offer a version of the game on the iOS or Android.  This rumor went on for ages and then their Mario franchise was introduced to the small screen.  Hope!

It was whispered that Animal Crossing was coming…for sure… to a phone near you.  Maybe November.  Then it was announced that it was going to be available on November 22nd.  Whoa!!! This was it!!

Now don’t go thinking that I was the only person over 12 looking forward to this little game.  Nintendo did a soft release in Australia and in no time at all, there were hackers who figured out how to set up a fake Australian account in order to download it.  I was oh so very tempted but I thought I needed to practice a little patience.  It was killing me.

Today I opened up my MacBook to see if I could find out what hour it would be released for my time zone.  Yup, I wanted to know what HOUR!  I started to do a Google search and there it was…a site announcing that Animal Crossing Pocket Camp was out!  TODAY!!!  I was suddenly filled with trepidation.  What if it was rubbish?

I downloaded it, set up my little avatar and then proceeded to play for a couple of hours.  Ahhhhhh…I had my little animal villagers back.  I could feel the calm descending.  In this version, you set up a campsite and visit other campers.  You can ‘friend’ real people and visit their campsites and just chill together while talking to the other campers.

I’ll tell you one thing…I’m one happy camper!


P.S.  If any of you happen to play and want to be friends in the game, just shoot me an email at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and we’ll exchange friend codes!