Quick and QWERTY Idiom #2

Here’s a new idiom for you all.  I hope you like it!

 

Close, but no cigar

 

Want to be a Quick and QWERTY guest?

Here are the rules…in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  •  
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  •  
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  •  
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  •  
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  •  
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.

 

Feel free to continue using any previous idioms.  There are no time limits.

Advertisements

Quick and QWERTY #5

From Michael at Afterwards

Idiom Prompt:  Quick and Dirty

 

I once had a dream where Usain bolt made me dress as a rabbit and he dressed as a tortoise carrying a dildo.  Tables turned.

 

Want to be a Quick and QWERTY guest?

Here are the rules…in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.

Quick and QWERTY #4

Prompt: “Quick and Dirty”

 

This one is from me…

It’s rather cheating using pics since they are worth a thousand words, but I had to share.

 

Bad Walter, BAD!! 

 

The deed, and the perpetrator….

 

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2185.jpgUNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2187.jpgUNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2188.jpgUNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2186.jpg

 

Want to be a Quick and QWERTY guest?

Here are the rules…in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.
  • No time limits, no pressure, just a random idiom prompt, and a 25-word limit.

Quick and QWERTY 2

Second take on this one.  Apparently, the photo just didn’t show up.  Let’s hope it does this time around!

 

Prompt:  “Quick and Dirty.”

 

This one is from Darren at The Arty Plantsman

 

One word and a photograph.
Molly!
unnamed-2
 
Want to be a Quick and QWERTY guest?

Here are the rules…in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.
  • No time limits, no pressure, just a random idiom prompt, and a 25-word limit.

Quick and QWERTY 1

And we have our first post!

This comes from Novus Lectio

 

I was walking in a street, i saw running a quick and dirty cat. He was carrying something in his mouth. Can imagine what!

 

Want to be a Quick and QWERTY guest?

Here are the rules, in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.
  • No time limits, no pressure, just a random idiom prompt, and a 25-word limit.

Quick and Qwerty

It sounds like we have some interest in doing this experiment of mine.  Anyone interested in a fun, QUICK blogging experience, please join us.  Here are the rules, in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post here as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read.
  • No time limits, no pressure, just a random idiom prompt, and a 25-word limit.

I thought I’d call the series Quick and Qwerty.

 

Here is your first idiom.  I thought I’d use the one that inspired the title of the series:

Quick and dirty

 

 

 

Guest in Jest #79 3C Style

THIS WEEK’S  “GUEST IN JEST” GUEST IS:  3C Style

 

Funny alarming story

I’m burning but it’s not from desire…

I’m honestly the kind of person who might break an arm getting out of the shower in the morning. Somehow I thought it was a good idea to leave heated cooking appliances unattended while I went to take a bath. What can I say? I was feeling confident because I had just done the macarena the other day.

Well, it wasn’t two minutes until I was jolted back into my clumsy reality by the shrill ringing of my home alarm system. Dang it! I had left the food in the oven too long, and it had started to smoke, triggering the alarm. I jumped out of the bath, somehow survived, and ran to the alarm box to turn it off.

I enter the code for the alarm and nothing happens. Great! Okay, okay, okay. I try three other possibilities. Error, error, error. Are you kidding me? With the alarm ringing in my ears and the police probably on the way, I rushed to the phone to see if I could salvage the situation.

“If I can just get the alarm representative on the phone,” I thought, “we can all work this out.”

Somehow, I actually fingered in the correct number for the alarm company headquarters (how is it that I remember this number and not the number to the actual alarm?), and I start talking to a chipper little thing who starts asking me all kinds of questions.

“Why are you asking me all these questions for? I’m the owner of the damn house.”

“Well, I don’t really know that, now do I?” Came the professional but curt reply. “This is for your own safety. Ma’am, these are questions that you set up!

Well, technically, the questions are not mine. My hubby set up everything but OK she’s got a good point I thought, and since I want her to turn off the alarm as soon as possible, I answered all the questions. It felt like an exam. Thankfully, I did right this time. I got a 100%. Yay!

“Please, could you shut down the alarm now? The noise is driving me crazy and it’s disturbing my neighbors as well.”

“No, I cannot do that from the distance” Said the lady on the phone. Since you didn’t enter the right code, you will have to open the control box with a screwdriver.” “Listen, I am about to take the hammer and smash the damn control box!”

“I’m sorry Ma’am, you have to open the control box yourself.

“Seriously? With all your fancy technology you’re telling me there is absolutely nothing you can do!” I scream to her. For my defense, may I remind you that the noise from the alarm system is extremely loud. So, while I’m trying to figure out what to do with the screwdriver, I’m getting mad at my husband who insisted that we get all this technology in our home even if I didn’t think it was necessary.

“There is absolutely no way this control box can be open with a screwdriver” I say to the alarm representative.

“Oh, I see. You must have our #numberONE alarm system then.” In other words, la crème de la crème in term of alarm system! But it still cannot be disabled remotely. “Try pulling hard the plastic tongues” She adds. I do as I am told. Now, on top of the alarm noise there is an annoying voice that repeats constantly: sabotage of the lid, sabotage of the lid…

This whole thing is turning into a nightmare. The police and the firefighters will soon be at my house and I’m practically naked with only a towel wrapped around me. There is smoke in the house. The food that I put in the oven is probably burning as well. My temper is burning. Everything is burning. Need I say more? In desperation, I enter the security code again. Suddenly, all the noise stops immediately. What a relieve! Whether I had entered the wrong code at the very beginning or the system malfunctioned is not the point. What matters is that I talk with my husband. I thanked the employee for her patience and hung up the phone. I knew exactly what I was going to do next.

To make a long story short, let’s just say it involved a lot of burning love to convince my hubby to give up the fancy alarm system in our house and settle for a smoking alarm box that works with batteries. What can I say? I like it the old fashion way. It works perfectly fine for me.

So, I Was Thinking…

A few of my fellow bloggers and I have been lamenting the fact that we haven’t spent as much time on WordPress lately because life has gotten in the way.  We just can’t seem to write or read as many posts as we’d like.  It seems that none of us wants to give in to this trend, but life happens.

So I was thinking…  What if we had a venue for writing short posts that would be quick to write and quick to read.  Not to take away from normal posts, especially Guest in Jest!  This will certainly not replace that!  But for those short on time, it might be a fun experiment.

So, I was thinking…  What would be the best way to do this?  I have learned from my experience with Guest in Jest that it is hard for some people to just come up with funny stories out of the ether, but I will continue to beg and force request them to do just that.  However, how could I encourage those who just don’t have the time, but DO have the skill and truly want to write.

So, I was thinking…  What if I set up a series to do just that?  Since it is hard to quickly pick a topic, maybe I could provide a prompt of some sort?  I know there are folks out there who provide a word and then everyone does a piece based on that word.  I don’t want to steal that cool idea, but I did have another.  We’ve been having fun with idioms lately.  What if I posted an idiom and that could be the prompt for a humorous post?  And what if I put a limit on the number of words.  Hmmm, maybe 25?  What do you think?

In summary, in bullet points, because that’s quicker to read:

  • I post an idiom as a prompt …when I have time.
  • You write a humorous post, in 25 words or less…when you have time.
  • Any style is acceptable…all of the time.
  • Send post to me at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com …as time allows.
  • I publish each post as they come in…when I have time.
  • We all read whatever posts we have time to read…when we have time.
  • No time limits, no pressure, just a random idiom prompt, and 25-word limit.

 

Would that be fun?  Anyone feel like participating in something like this?

Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #79

Please join us tomorrow…

 

THIS WEEK’S  “GUEST IN JEST” GUEST IS:  3C Style

Now it is time for my shameless begging.  I’ll add a little pleading if it will help.  I will add larger fonts to grab attention.  REALLY large fonts…to the point of obnoxiousness!  Perhaps a bit of color will make a difference.

Join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

Give us some info about your blog.  Make sure to add a link to it.

Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.

Pictures optional, but encouraged.

The post can be one that has been posted before.

Multiple submissions are encouraged!

The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?