The Guest in Jester Thanks You!

I just wanted to thank everyone who sent in Guest in Jest submissions.  It is GREATLY appreciated.

For those of you who want to be as cool as previous posters, just shoot me an email at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com with something funny.

 

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Guest in Jest #91 3C Style

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is  3C Style

 

I confess, sometimes I look at people in the subway and I try to imagine their life. I know I’m weird like that. I also do a funny thing with photos. I make up dialogues with whatever or whoever is in the shot. Usually, the first thing that comes to mind is the funniest scene. Let me show you an example. Here are two pics that I saw a while ago and I immediately linked them together.

Same chit-chat or gossip, different chicks…

 

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Hens on the Farm 

I really don’t care what kind of hat she’s wearing. It’s not even Easter! And why can’t she just fit in like the rest of us? Who is she trying to impress? She acts like her eggs are too good for the farmer. Ever since Dominique styled an outfit with her in mind she’s acting as if she is a Super Star! You don’t see the bees acting like that. And you know she actually didn’t grow those fluffy feathers on her head – they are fake. They have to be! Nobody else’s feathers grow like th… Oooh wait, here she comes —hiiiiiiii, Flo! Wow, you look good today!

 

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Fashionistas in Copenhagen

You would think that fashionistas always dressed appropriately, right? Well, in real life many are willing to risk frost bite wearing short sleeves and no socks even if it’s 10 degrees. That explains why the weather is one of the main topic of conversation during Fashion week. If you’re more of an introvert and don’t enjoy small talk that much, the street style crowd provides some great eavesdropping… Or you can just imagine what they are talking about, which ever you prefer.

—I’m telling you, if you want to get snapped by Phil Oh you’ll have to show more skin dear —or, have yourself a tattoo. And don’t forget, always hold something in your hand such as a cup of coffee, your iPhone… A cool bag alone won’t get you that shot.

—Euh, there’s a car that wants us to get out of the way. He honked at us —totally not fashionable…

Filth and Depravity

Now that’s a post title I bet you never thought you’d see here!

Our friend Michael at Afterwards has written a book and it is now being offered on Amazon.  You can pre-order the E-book by following my directions below.  It will be available on April 12th.  Such a LONG time to wait for those of us who are perverted enough to yearn for such things.

Fair warning…this is not a book for the faint of heart.  Prudes need not peruse.  It’s down and dirty and drop-dead funny.  Reading his blog, I vacillate between saying Ewwww to chuckling and then go on to laughing uproariously.  I often read his limericks to Bill and he always comments that they are priceless and that Michael is so clever.  And clever he is.

Check out his blog and if you find yourself laughing you should:

1. Admit to yourself that you appreciate indecency and worse.

2. You should buy the book.

Yes, do #1 and #2.  Do it now.  I’ll wait.  And once you’ve finished it, stop laughing long enough to leave a review…if you dare!

See the book cover below?  Click on the little “Buy on Amazon” link on the bottom left corner to see the description.  If you click on the cover itself, it will tell you that the Kindle edition isn’t available, yet.  Yes, I’m pouting.  April 12th seems so far away, but really, it’s only a week.

 

P.S.  Makes a brilliant Mother’s Day gift.  😛

 

Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #91

Join us tomorrow! 

 

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is:  3C Style

 

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

 

  1. Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.
  2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere. 3.
  3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!
  4. The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

 C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Unleashed!

Go visit this blog. It’s flippant. It’s irreverent. It’s just plain funny.

Clever Girl Writes...

Pets become part of the family, don’t they? They’re like our kids, especially when it comes to keeping them on a tight leash… metaphorically speaking, of course. I don’t actually put kids on leashes (only because it’s against the law). Still, I think it’s a stellar idea. Kids out in public need to be controlled at all times. Just think about when you’re in a restaurant, the parents letting their kids run around like it’s a friggin’ playground while you’re just trying to do your job as a goddamn waitress and the little fuckers almost trip you up as you try balance a tray full of drinks!

ahem

Just like when dogs are out in public, they need to be controlled at all times too. No, I don’t have kids or dogs, I have cats, and yes, I can almost hear the squawk of an argument coming out of your…

View original post 476 more words

Guest in Jest #89 The Arty Plantsman

What do you mean there is more than one of him?!

 

My surname, Sleep, is an unusual name. It derives from the Cornish language for ‘marshy place’. Couple this with the unusual forename ‘Darren’ and I could be forgiven for thinking I was unique…

Then one day nearly 20 years ago I got an email at work, an environmental science institute.

The email was from myself – at another environmental science institute.

Apparently I was also working in the Canadian forest service as well as in the UK. I actually understand this. If I had been travelling to Canada every day to work it would explain my tiredness. No worries. (Except the only-getting-one-salary part anyway.)

Reading further, the email was from another Darren Sleep who had spotted my name on a scientific paper. Not only are there two Darren Sleeps but both work in environmental science and are roughly the same age. We are connected on Linkedin now, though his career has moved into directorship territory. Oddly, he lived for a time in Quebec, not so far from my friend Dominique in Montreal. He now seems to be in Ontario.

It gets weirder….

Ten years later he got in touch again. He had received an unexpected package from Vodafone. On enquiring he was told that it was a mistake and that it should have gone to Darren Sleep in the UK. He had got in touch to tell me my package was delayed, which was kind of him.

Except…I am not a Vodafone customer….

A quick google search revealed a third Darren Sleep living just across the Pennines in Yorkshire. A picture on his golf club website reveals another beardy middle aged guy. With the same glasses as me…

I am just off to change my name to Abercromby Wonderwaltzer. And maybe shave off half the beard. And wear Elton John specs. And dye my hair blue. That’ll sort them! I will be different!

Yours,

Abercromby (formerly Darren)

Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #89

Please join us tomorrow…

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is: 

The Arty Plantsman

 

Don’t forget, we are looking for jokes as well as humorous posts!!!

 

Now it is time for my shameless begging. 

Join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

Give us some info about your blog.  Make sure to add a link to it.

Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.

Pictures optional, but encouraged.

The post can be one that has been posted before.

Multiple submissions are encouraged!

The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?