NOT Linda.

Greetings! I’m Janice Johnson. Thanks for joining the fun here on Maladjusted Mondays.  Linda heroically offered to host this collection of scathing exposés in which I rat out my uncooperative appliances. I originally published these posts on my blog, Joywriting: Everybody Has a Story, where I do occasionally write about something besides my appliances. You can visit me there any time by clicking here.

And now for the 14th post in the series, which first appeared on my blog October 2, 2017.

The Interplanetary Appliance Conspiracy

On a recent trip to Washington state, Brent and I took a road trip to his boyhood home town. The next day found us driving for hours through the Cascades to get back to our kids’ house. Construction detours, rain, no cell service, verrrrrry spotty map info, snacks but no real lunch… Relief flooded us when, at about 1:00 PM, we finally came to Packwood–an actual town.

To our delight, we spotted a scruffy old pizza-and-burger place with beat-up pickups and motorcycles parked out front.

In a charming bit of anachronism, the ladies’ room boasted a contemporary wall-mount foam soap dispenser and a sleek cylindrical paper towel holder.

In due time, I washed my hands and reached under the cylinder for the corner of paper towel that should be sticking out. I didn’t feel any.

Just as I was about to frisk the holder more thoroughly, a deafening noise like a jet engine filled the air. At the same time, my outstretched hand came alive with an intense, eerie blue glow.

Adrenaline jolted me halfway across the room. Clearly, this was an alien abduction.

I regained my balance. Thankfully, both the shrill engine noise and the blue light faded away. Once my heart started beating again, it dawned on me that the “paper towel holder” must really be a warm-air hand dryer.

What I’d really like to know is how on earth the appliance revolt spread clear to the state of Washington. It’s like they knew I was coming.

Must be the aliens.

I’m no dummy… I wiped my hands on my pants.

If you’re ever in Packwood, Washington, be sure to stop at Cruisers Pizza. The food and people were great. (Click here for their Facebook page.)

But you might want to steer clear of the “paper towel holder” in the ladies’ room.

Thanks for reading,

One thought on “Maladjusted Mondays, Week 14

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