A couple of days ago, Bill and I were riding in the car and he nonchalantly mentioned that the pants he was wearing were 30 years old.  This elicited a number of emotions on my part:

  1.  How did these pants escape the Great Closet Purge of 1988?
  2. Why were these pants in tolerable shape after 30 years?
  3. What other clothing from previous decades might he be hiding from me?
  4. How on earth could he still be able to wear clothing that he wore 30 years ago?
  5. Did he have even an inkling what turn our conversation was going to take?

Ok, I admit that probably wasn’t exactly the order in which I thought those things.  There were a few eye rolls in there and a bit of self-loathing, too.  I couldn’t fit a leg into a skirt I wore thirty years ago.

In order to abate my weight-related introspection, I turned my attention back to Bill and his ability to hide ancient clothing from me.  It went something like this:

Me:  “Where did these come from?”

Bill:  “I bought them in Dexter in July of 1988 on the way to Joe’s camp party.

Me:  “That is not what I meant and you know it!  Where have you been hiding them all these years?”

Bill:  “Ummm”

Me: “Do you have any other ancient articles of clothing hanging about or are these pants it?”

Bill:  “Ummm”

Me:  “Spill it, what else do you have lurking in the back of your closet!”

Bill:  “I got rid of that wool brown and white jacket that I wore in high school that you hated so much.”  He said this rather hoping it would divert my attention to something he actually got rid of that I loathed.  It didn’t work.

Me:  “That was NOT my question.  But it’s good you did that because we’d be having a bonfire otherwise.  What else?”

Bill:  “Ummm”

Me:  “Don’t tell me you have that plaid shirt that I can literally see through!”

Bill:  “Ummm”

Me:  “Where is it?”

Bill:  “I got that shirt in 1978 when I was a junior in high school and I’m not ready to give it up.  It has sentimental meaning to me.  Besides, it’s a PERFECT mowing shirt.

Me:  “That was 40 years ago!  Why is it that any old piece of clothing is the “perfect” mowing attire?  You have four pairs of “perfect” mowing shoes that are coming apart at the seams!  You have a t-shirt that has more holes than fabric.  It is not a good sign when you have to wear sunscreen UNDER your shirt.  You are always saying you need more closet space for your sports gear.  Maybe if we weed out some of your decades-old “mowing” clothes we can make some room.”

Bill flattened himself against the closet door protecting the contents held within.  Why is it I think he has a pair of bellbottoms in there?  Maybe they are “perfect” mowing bellbottoms.  Worse yet, they probably still fit him!

 

34 thoughts on “What Else Are You Hiding From Me?

  1. Had to come back to this Linda. I read it earlier and laughed. I wanted to say something witty but words wouldn’t come. To many pictures in my head of poor Bill’s attempt to justify and yet I had to admire a man who can still ware, no matter what you think, the same clothes he wore in high school. So now that I have finished laughing I just want to say “ this was a good on”.🐲🐲🐲🐲🐉🐉❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Glad you liked it Mel. Yes, poor Bill, indeed. I am so mean to him! I keep telling him I want him to get rid of ratty clothes for his own good. People will think he’s a slob and he’s anything but. He remains unconvinced. 😉 🐉 ❤️ 🐉 ❤️ 🐉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Linda I think my hubby and your hubby have the same time capsule closet. I don’t really understand how it’s possible when they don’t gain an ounce either as they eat whatever they like. This made me laugh and not feel alone 😊💗

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh my, I was missing these SO much!!! 😄😄😄😄
    Thanks Bill for his inability to get rid of hsi clothes…
    And now I miss my old, almost tansparent with more holes than fabric t-shirt of the firts Batman movie that I used for 15 years (and that get me the nickname of Batman in the neighbourhood)… My sister didn’t allowed me to bring it to Portugal when I move here… 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my, lol! This made me laugh thinking of your face! I have to buy clothes every other year because they don’t fit…either a size up or down, ugh! I think I have one sweatshirt in my closet from when I was in college that my hubby bought me, I can’t get into it, but I keep it for sentimental reasons. Lol, poor Bill and his old clothes! He must be proud he can still wear them. I need his metabolism…

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Oh, that’s too bad! I didn’t need to gain these pounds either, that is for sure. They need to make a med that causes you to lose weight and helps with stuff. When they put me on Topamax they said it would make me lose weight, but it didn’t, I was disappointed, lol since I’d just been on a different med for my migraines that made me gain 10 lbs. I swear it’s on purpose. But you’re right, it’s very difficult to lose weight on meds.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. Lol! Well that will do it! It made me have a metallic taste when I drank soda but it only lasted for a while. But I never lost weight, so I don’t know and I’m on 600 mg of it and most people who have migraines are on 50 to 100. I just gain more and more weight with the meds the pile on. Then they’re like oh, “you’re gaining weight…no sh**, Sherlock! You keep putting me on meds with a side effect of weight gain”…idiots. Seriously need a magic pill.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. I finally had to tell my Boston neuro (the best seizure guy I could find) that he either took me off the drug or I was leaving. I think my exact words were “it’s either the Depakote or you!” He thanked me for making that clear and got me off it. haha!

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. LOL, well at least he listened to you. Some Drs are so full of it that they still think they know better even when it is hurting us. I made mine take me off one recently that had dropped my white blood cell count to around 3 and I was getting infection after infection. That was a side effect of the drug, but I could barely function for being so tired and had been in the hospital and my iron levels had dropped as well so I was having to go in and have iron infusions. I said change me or I’m just not taking it, period. So he did, and I feel much better. It’s amazing how much better you feel when your blood cells start to function properly…But those anti seizure meds are no joke! They have some crazy side effects.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. I am so glad you got off that evil med!! How horrible! You have a lot going on with health issues; the last thing you need is to have infections on top of it all. Plus, a white blood count of 3 is frightening!

                      Sending healing hugs your way! Plus a nice cup of iced Sumatra! ☕️ ❤️

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Thanks!! Me too! It was supposed to send the Lupus in remission and the low WBC was a side effect, but after being on months of steroids, my immune system just couldn’t handle it. They want me to do a low dose chemo, but I said nope not right now since I was so, so sick back to back with infections in from Dec through early April!! I want my WBC to get back to normal and then reevaluate. So I’m back on steroids and Plaquenil, and this time it seems to be working. I think I was just so sick before and they didn’t give it time to work! I’ve also found a lupus specialist at Duke Hospital, so that makes a difference too, LOL. Thanks for the healing hugs! I’ll take them! And the cup of iced Sumatra!! Sending one your way too! I hope you had a nice Memorial Day!! ❤ 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. It sounds like you have a good path forward and a lupus doc at Duke will be awesome! Quash those maladies, one by one!!! And those you can’t quash completely…tire the hell out them till they can’t make your life as miserable as they do now! I hear coffee is a very good quasher! 😉 ❤️💕❤️💕❤️

                      Like

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