Here’s one from Megspot
Strategy is everything when you’re dealing with treats
I had a three-legged dog named Pepe who learned young to fight dirty. When dinner was set down, he’d hare off to the back gate, barking ferociously, luring the other dog away from his dinner to go bark too. Once he’d achieved this, he’d race back to the dinner bowls and scoff both while the other (less intelligent) dog was off barking at the leaves on the driveway.
Seemed like a strategy that could be useful – so I implemented it at once with my daughter.
“What’s that?” I said, pointing behind her.
“What?” she said. And thus distracted, she didn’t see me sneak her chocolate biscuit.
“Oh, sorry. Must have been something in my eye.”
“Mum,” she said. “Where’s my biscuit?”
“Iths’s in my mouff.”
Okay, so that didn’t go to plan. She was too smart, and the price (many, many tears and a whole new packet of biscuits) was way too steep.
So I tried at work.
“Hey, did you know the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy?”
“I’m not falling for that one. You tried to steal Aiden’s cake yesterday with the same trick.”
So I had a chat with my husband.
“Honey, there’s a problem out the front. I can’t get the mower to start.”
He stared at me for a long moment before he shook his head slowly and handed me his jam-and-cream bun. “You just have to ask.”
“What? I don’t know what you mean!”
“The mower? Couldn’t you think of something a bit more believable?” he said. “We don’t have any lawn thanks to your weed-killer accident.”
“In my defence, it did look like fertiliser,” I said. “But I actually meant there’s a problem with the… the hose, yes – the hose.”
“Right. The hose.”
I stared at him, hoping I wouldn’t have to push out a few tears as a last resort. “Would you at least take a look?”
He sighed heavily. “Sure. Want to come show me?”
“I’d really love to, but I have to go get a spoon for all this cream.”
I shared some of it with Pepe, and we sat in the sun plotting new ways to steal bakery goods – or dog food in his case – from our loved ones.
Life is good.