I woke up this morning to the voice of my Google Home Mini telling me VERY LOUDLY that its microphone was turned off.  So loudly, in fact, that it woke me up from two rooms away.

When I entered the living room I was greeted effusively by Walter and my happiness in seeing him was rather dulled by the sight of the Mini AND my Amazon Echo on the floor.  The Google was still plugged in.  Alexa looked like she was beyond life support.

I know, why do I have both?  The Google Mini was an impulse buy around Christmas when they were so cheap I couldn’t not buy it.  Are there enough negatives in that sentence to show that I had no choice?  Besides, it’s been fun comparing their abilities.  Alexa wins by a longshot so far, in case you were wondering.

When I saw my two electronic assistants on the floor, my heart sank.  Alexa was in pieces and cloth covering the Google was looking more than a little rough.  At least Google was still talking.  Alexa was unplugged and silent.  Eerily silent.  I picked up the pieces and, even though they were chewed a fair amount, tried to put them back together.  It was way too early for this Humpty Dumpty experience.  I hadn’t even had coffee yet!  Seeing her there was like losing an old friend and I’d had enough of that lately.  At least I could buy a new Echo.

While I was putting my little electronic friend back together Walter was sitting on the couch watching me.  It was an inscrutable expression.  I couldn’t figure out if he was sorry or amused.  It makes no sense to punish a dog after a transgression so I merely picked up the pieces while muttering not so nice things about him.

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The fact that the Google Mini was shouting at me was a good sign.  Sure enough, he was just superficially damaged and was still quite serviceable.  Oh!  I should explain here that the Google has a male voice and the Echo has the female Alexa voice.  That makes comparing them all the more fun.  Alexa always has better answers so I get to mutter “Stupid electronic man!” and laud Alexa for being so wonderful.  Her response is always a perfunctory “thanks.”

In spite of being dismantled by Walter, I was able to restore Alexa’s abilities.  She is now rather like my hero Stephen Hawking, a brilliant brain inside a broken body.

And how is Walter taking all of this?  I am lounging back on the couch and he is next to me hugging my leg.  His head is in my lap and I’m typing this while balancing the laptop on his head.  His snoring tells me that he’s not particularly racked with shame.  He’s just storing up some energy so he can eat something else tomorrow.  As you can see, he’s already ruined my couch, I guess I’d better hide the cats just in case.

30 thoughts on “Walter Ate Alexa

  1. good Walter! And good for you getting Alexa going again. Alexa often needs a little comeuppance ( she keeps telling me she doesn’t understand my question – or giving me weather data for places I don’t even remotely want)

    Amazon products should be PUPPY tested/ PUPPY approved before sale….

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  2. Haha I just love Walter. He’s so sassy and then he gets that look above. Like mom, come on! I’m just a puppy for crying out loud! Glad you were able to save poor Alexa! 🙂

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  3. Walter I love you though I’ve never met you. Lol. Such a character! Amazed you were able to fix Alexa. My first corgi loved electronics for the first year I had him. My sister was beyond pissed when he killed her iPod. And he destroyed a couple of my watches. He was a character as well. Lol

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      1. Thanks. It’s always good to hear that.

        And–well, I hate to say this, but we’re arguing with one of our dogs about the difference between inside and outside and it’s kind of reassuring to know other people’s dogs are less than perfect.

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        1. Ah, I am familiar with the argument but haven’t had it in a while. Is this an older dog? Could he/she have a bladder infection or something? I ask because there are times when I’ve thought my animals have been jerks when they really had a good reason for messing up. Pun intended!

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          1. It’s the younger dog, and no infection. But as of this morning I’m willing to entertain the possibility that the older dog’s part of the problem. I won’t bore you with the details but I’m–oh, let’s say I’m pissed off with both of ’em.

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            1. I had a “pissy” morning, too. I was trying to get Walter to drop a pillow and his response was the start peeing on the kitchen floor! I had no idea I was that scary! Go me! He was summarily ushered through his dog door without the pillow. He was very disappointed, but empty. Empty is good! You can bore me with details about dog pee anytime you like. I’m an expert in the subject. Vomit and poop are in my wheelhouse, too. As my vet once said: “Pet ownership is not always glamorous.” haha

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              1. It sure isnt’t. I’ve been trying to get a urine sample from the older dog for two days now. Sorry–she who always was happy to pee in the back yard is now boycotting it. I feel like a some particularly twisted kind of stalker.

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                  1. Of course you want to know. British vets don’t believe in catheterization unless there’s no other choice and expect the dog owner (or–imagine a bit of hysterical laughter here–cat owner) to catch it as it comes out. In whatever the human imagination can come up with. I’ve designated a clean rectangular plastic leftover-type container, although a ladel would probably work–I just don’t happen to have a ladel I’m willing to sacrifice to these particular gods.

                    This is, mind you, a very short dog I’m talking about–a shih tzu. So the whole project’s even more ridiculous.

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                    1. A shih tzu? Oh heaven, help you! It’s too bad you can’t have her pee on something and just take that in to be inspected. Here you go Ms. Vet (or Mr.) I present thee with this puppy pad and all good wishes with it. The could be a flourish in there somewhere if one desired. Let them extract the bloody pee! Err..bad choice of words there. Offending pee? You know what I mean!

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