Guest in Jest #28 The Arty Plantsman

Intro: Hello, I am Darren. I blog at The Arty PlantsmanThe blog started out as a botanical art blog but my humour seems to be popular so I have expanded the blog to include more of this, musings on life and mental health etc.

 

A true story.

Autumn 1990.

Picture a young and reckless Darren, aged 24. He is in the middle of a long night shift, driving a forklift from A to B. The highlight of his night is visiting the toilet. Until the forklift develops a fault:

Darren on phone to factory mechanic: “My forklift is playing up. Can one of you pop over to the pulp warehouse and have a look?”

Mechanic: “Bugger off mate. It is 2 o’clock in the morning and pissing down”

Darren: “The belt is running out of pulp and the whole site will shut in an hour if I can’t use the truck”

Mechanic: “sigh. Is it still running?”

Darren: “well, yes but..”

Mechanic; “Tell you what – bring it round the garage and we will have a look when we’ve had our brew”

Darren: “Oh. OK”

Ten minutes later. Two mechanics sit in the garage office, mugs in hand, when they hear a rumble as a forklift crosses the garage floor and crashes into the rear wall in a cloud of concrete dust.

Darren climbs down from the cab, brushes dust off his overalls and walks away, looking over his shoulder at the two mechanics he says:

“Brakes are fucked”