Erin let me pick one of her previously published pieces (say that any number times that you want.)  This one is relatively recent, but I love it so very much!!!  I STRONGLY suggest that you visit her blog  https://mylifeiswear.com/

It’s Exciting To Be Blonde… And Polish…

Here’s a picture of me when I was 30 years old. I had just given birth to my son Kevin and went crazy trying to find a dress to wear to a formal night-time wedding.

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Through the years I’ve learned to accept the fact that although I consider myself to be relatively intelligent I do some really stupid shit.

I attribute this to being blonde and my Polish side, although I am also Irish and German.

I’ve learned to embrace it all and laugh at myself… and often others do too.

One night when I was working at the restaurant, a customer called me over to her table. She held up two bottles of oil for her salad and stated, “I need vinegar. You gave me two bottles of oil.”

I replied, “Sorry, let me go find the person that has the two vinegars… this is what happens when your waitress is blonde and Polish.”

My customer laughed out loud.

Another time, a customer at one of my tables stopped and asked me what our restaurant was best known for. We have shirts that say we are “Famous for our roast beef” on the back of the shirt.

We also have shirts that are blank on the back.

I paused, turned around and pointed to the back of the shirt that I was wearing and asked, “What does my shirt say?”

The customer slowly replied, “Nothing.” and looked at me as if I was crazy. Of course, I was wearing the shirt with the blank back.

I had to laugh at myself, but I don’t worry about these occurrences because I know that I’m in good company.

One night my dad was watching T.V. and my blonde and Polish mother was waiting for his show to be over so she could watch a program that she had been wanting to see.

She asked my dad, “Ed, how long is 60 Minutes on?”

We all laughed our asses off!

The Polish are known for amazing food and for making the best alcohol and chocolates.

And, all joking aside, all of the Polish people who I have met are always really nice and jovial with great senses of humor…

As was my blonde and Polish grandmother.

After she passed, I inherited a set of her salt and pepper shakers.

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And now you know where I got my sense of humor from.

My life, I swear!

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Have a great day!

Erin Cooper Reed

 

 

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Please join us in our Guest of Jest series.

Here are the rules:

  1. Tell us a bit about yourself, including where you are from.
  2. Give us some info about your blog.  Make sure to add a link to it.
  3. Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.
  4. Pictures optional, but encouraged.
  5. The post can be one that has been posted before.

The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

Just email Linda at mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com with a submission and you will be scheduled for publication in order of submission.

 

The featured image was created by Silas at My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal

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6 thoughts on “Guest in Jest #5 My Life I Swear

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