See him up there?  The black dog with the soulful eyes chewing his toy basket and not his toys?  That’s Walter.  He’s cute, isn’t he? Walter is full of deviltry.  He is most definitely the Devil’s spawn.  Due to his exceptional size for an 11-month-old dog, this is concerning.  He weighs 130 pounds and has at least another six months of growth ahead of him.  He’s a demon now.  When he grows up he’s going to be a monster.

 

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Some of you may remember the time Walter ate chocolate and we gave him something to make him purge it.  Up came the chocolate AND an SOS pad.  Steel wool is not good for the insides of a puppy.  Walter doesn’t care.  It was there so he ate it.  Even SOS pads aren’t safe.  Nothing is safe!

For the past two days, I have come home to find houseplants all over the floor with wet dirt decorating my rugs.  Walter!!!  He even took a couple of them and dissected them in the tub.  The bathroom floor was covered, as was the living room floor.  The next day I knew I had thwarted him.  I was jubilant as I left the house.  There was no way he was going to get those plants again!  I was wrong.  He grabbed them from a shelf that is over 5 feet tall.  This dog is not fooling around!  Nothing is safe on the top shelf of tall bookcases!

I’ve started putting things on the top of the fridge, but I fear for them there as well.  He can reach the cabinet above the counter.  He can climb and reach anywhere.  I swear he’s part goat.  Wait, doesn’t the Devil have horns like a goat?  There’s something to think about right there!

I pondered the possibility of hanging things from the ceiling, but then I remembered that they are tin and I really didn’t want to see the big holes that would surely be made when Walter was big enough to grab things up there and pull them down for his own amusement.  You think I’m kidding?  I’m not.  I am sure that nothing is safe, even on the ceiling!

Not long ago, I came home from a day away to find yarn all over the floor.  This was puzzling because the only place I had yarn was in my yarn bag and that was zipped.  He’s eaten my yarn bag!  No, the yarn bag was intact but unzipped.  Walter has learned how to unzip things!  It must be a fluke!  How does a dog unzip anything?  I continued to clean up the mess that he had created in the living room.  It looked like a tornado had come through and then returned to finish off what it missed the first time around.   Then I saw it, there was my mini knapsack ALSO UNZIPPED!!!  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do about this.  How do you teach a dog to stop unzipping things?  Nothing is safe even behind a zipper!

Then I remembered another of Walter’s indiscretions. A few weeks before the unzip fiasco I found a book on the floor. I thought to myself “Oh great, Walter got another one of my books.”  Then I looked a little more closely and saw that it was a book about Great Danes.  Of the thousands of books in this house, he picked that one.  Maybe he was trying to do his family tree, I don’t know.  He certainly enjoyed the paper that came from trees when he chewed the pages of the book!

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I noticed that he left the part of the cover extolling a special chapter called “Understanding the Great Dane.”  Perhaps I should read that again.  Maybe I should memorize it.

The next book I found that had been “de-covered” was “The Only Dog Training Book You’ll Ever Need.”   There couldn’t have been a better choice.  Had he learned to read, as well?  The cover was gone and the pages were dog-toothed, as opposed to dog-eared.

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My only hope is that he absorbed some of the information in that book while he digested it.  Maybe he did.  Today I walked in the door and there was a dustpan brush in the middle of the kitchen floor.  I like to think that he has observed me using that dustpan brush every time I come home…due to his indiscretions.  He was trying to be helpful and retrieved it for me so I wouldn’t have to grab it.  That has to be it!  Yes, I’m hallucinating.  Yes, I’ve lost my mind.  Nothing is safe!

 

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63 thoughts on “Nothing is Safe!!!

  1. Aaah the joys of puppyhood lol. Good luck Linda! At least if you ever needed an excuse for not completing a task, you could legitimately say your dog ate your homework 😂

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    1. Yes, his cuteness has saved his life on numerous occasions. He’s a total love bug, too. Sometimes too much of a love bug! Have you ever had a 130-pound dog come galloping (no lie) across the room and LEAP into your lap? He has no clue how big he is. I’m a little scared of what happens when he figures it out!

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      1. I get to babysit my sister and her hubby’s giant yellow lab and he’s allowed to be bad with me 😄 hard to move if he falls asleep on you too big time!!😂 I love that gentle giant something fierce. Yes, guess you have to stop him now from doing so he won’t hurt a stranger on accident or you😄! Guess he’ll be doing lots of park visits Ha ha ha!😄

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        1. Awww giant lab…nice! Haha, no parks around here. It’s all park! Walter does get to go up to camp and he can be free there. He races around the camp at a million miles an hour and then he goes splashing in the pond. He thinks the pond is his very own mud puddle. Levi will play for a bit and then he comes in the screen porch to hang out quietly UNLESS there is a squirrel. Then he will stand at the bottom of the “infested” tree and stare up while the squirrel teases him. My poor dogs, they are so mistreated.

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          1. What do you mean by “camp”? Do you own a campsite place? I wonder what it is specifically about squirrels dogs love so much?!:) Max will watch them but remains rather uninpressed with them but I think that’s because there is a million of them in my backyard. He’s more interested in watching the birds but if either comes tooooo close…Max is running for me to rescue him :)…he’s a lover not a fighter :). How is Levi feeling about Walter these days? Ha, yes I get the feeling your pups are about as mistreated as Max! ha!

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        1. Haha, he gets plenty of love. He demands attention. He gets treats when I leave as bribery for a pleasant return. So far this has been unreliable. He gets snuggles and pats on the head, but soon I won’t be able to reach his head. He might have to do with a pat on the knee.

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  2. Bahahaha, there’s something really funny about seeing a chewed up “The only puppy training book you’ll ever need”.
    Tell me, after he got into the yarn what was his, er, ‘leavings’ like? I can imagine long poopy strands of spaghetti like yarn!

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    1. Oh he didn’t eat the yarn, thank goodness. That would have killed him. He merely took a large number of skeins and tangled them all together. As I look at him now, he’s chewing on a plastic pet food can cover. xvfghbv caS That was hanging on the wall. Want to know why there’s an unintelligible bit back there? That’s because I told him to drop said can cover and his response was to turn around, back up, and sit on my keyboard.

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  3. Walter is finding ways to entertain himself unfortunately that may mean mess for you to clean. He is definitely using his time to catch up on reading which is more than I’m doing lately. 🙂
    Walter is a cutie pie that is just learning his environment. Talk to him, train him and love him and both of you would be fine.

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    1. Haha, he’s actually a sweetheart now. Just a big love bug. A love bug who is willful, stubborn and difficult. It’s almost as though I was his real Mom! I’ve had many puppies and this one takes the cake. I have never known a dog so undeterred. In spite of it all, he will be treated like a king, just like the rest of our animals. He’s fast asleep now on the pile of chaise lounge cushions that serve as his bed. They don’t make a dog bed big enough for him to stretch out and I don’t like the idea that he won’t be comfy. Now Levi, my other Dane, is curled up on the other end of the couch. See? Treated like kings. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Ok, send me a few of your favorite books to leave around the house. No, better yet, some cherished photographs. A piece of favorite furniture for good measure. Yeah, do that and I’ll make you a believer! hahaha ❤️💕❤️💕❤️

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        1. Then you won’t mind doing that. Actually, I’ll ship him to you! Leave him alone in the house for the day and then tell me he’s perfect! Today it was a staghorn fern and a silk plant that was destined for my fish tank. There are also two ceramic feet for which I haven’t found the body. Sigh…

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  4. I once had a FIRST EDITITION of Gone with the Wind. No joke. Now I have a partial edition. I also had a dining and table set. With legs that didn’t look like they have been buzz sawed. Now I have a different set altogether to replace the assaulted furniture.

    Puppies. God had a big reason for making them so damn cute on the surface. It’s their own chance of surviving my rage!

    (And that puppy is insanely adorable, too!!! Who really needs whole books, furniture and zippers anyway???)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right of course. I have a claw foot oak table that’s missing a toenail. Also a coffee table with rounded corners instead of true corners. And a bunch of cds with no cases. This was all pre-Walter, so I guess I should cut him some slack.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was so mad when one of my dogs chewed up the bottom of an end table. We always faced it so you probably wouldn’t notice it if you didn’t know if was there. Now that dog has left this world and we keep the table just so we can see that and remember her. Makes me sad but also makes me smile now. (But I’m still pissed about the book!)

        Liked by 1 person

            1. Yup, and I’ll feel the same way about Walter one day. He’s such a sweetie, but he’s going to be the death of us. Not only does he destroy stuff, he likes to LEAP at us. He gets so excited to see us that he goes insane. Bill had back spasms because of him. He almost knocked me down. He just doesn’t realize that he’s BIG! It doesn’t matter what we do to punish him. He’s immune to yelling, spritzing water at him. Making loud noises. Sigh

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