I am an introvert.  There, I said it.  I say it almost apologetically because we are maligned in this extrovert’s world.  I don’t say that with malice, it’s just that we are misunderstood.  We are misunderstood mostly because we are standing over there ======>>>>>  alone.

You see, I like living in my own head.  It’s comfy there and I’ve decorated it to match my personality.  Extroverts don’t understand this.  Extroverts like parties.  I do not do well at parties.  For example:

When I can’t avoid going to a party I am much more likely to be playing with the dog than talking to the people.

Sometimes I seek the dog out so I can extricate myself from a conversation.

When I’m trying to extricate myself from a conversation I  don’t make eye contact, except with the dog,  and that makes me seem aloof.

If I succeed in extricating myself from a conversation I seem aloof.

Failing to extricate myself from a conversation makes me want to run screaming from the room.

When I refrain from running screaming from the room and try to tough it out as best I can,  I sometimes seem aloof.

Oh geez, do I always seem aloof?

Maybe I should go somewhere else and seem aloof.

I could go over there ===> and seem aloof…by myself.

I start to feel self-conscious because others think I’m aloof…when I’m not.

I still want to run screaming from the room but I’ve found that it garners more attention.  And we all know I don’t want that!  Someone might want to comment on it and then I’m back to trying to extricate myself from a conversation.

And then the process repeats until…to be honest I don’t know when it will stop repeating.  I think I’m doomed to a life of seeming aloof while talking to the dog trying to extricate myself from a conversation so I can avoid running screaming from the room.  I’m on the hampster wheel of introversion and the party people are keeping me from escaping the cage.  All of this so we can engage in more *shudder* small talk.

Well, that train of thought certainly took on a life of its own, didn’t it?

A fair number of bloggers I’ve met here on WordPress consider themselves to be introverts.  I thought it would be fun to hear about some introverted traits of others.  We can compare notes.  Give each other pointers and tips.  Perhaps some suggestions for good running-screaming-from-the-room shoes.

So please chime in and comment on things you do, or how you live your life because you’re an introvert.  If you happen to be an extrovert, you are not left out of this little inquiry.  The extroverts can comment on introverted traits they have observed in others. 

This is going to be fun!

 

29 thoughts on “The Hamster Wheel of Introversion”

  2. Introvert, extrovert the in’s and out’s of life. You Linda are an outrivert. You go inside and bring out the hilariousness that resides there. This again is one of those, let you mind run out of gear, stories that has provided me with so many chuckles. Thank you again for sharing it.

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        1. Stillness is good. There are times when I would like to be more extroverted, but unless I truly care about someone, it’s a chore. For the record, you are one who I truly care about. It’s funny, I’ve always said that interacting on the computer gives people something in common. Imagine meeting a teenager from India like Silas or a gentlewoman farmer from Michigan in the course of everyday life. We are very lucky here.

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  3. Haha! You described me perfectly with your party scenario. I’m a massive introvert and luckily, hubby is too. Unfortunately we’re both INFJs also which means people are inherently drawn to us. Bad combination. So, we get invited to lots and lots of things and always have people ringing or texting. We end up agreeing to quite a few things and then pull the “I’m sick” card to get out of it, and slip the phone on silent when we’re at home. Out of hearing, out of mind. But, it’s a constant struggle. Damn extroverts always trying to get us to go out!

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    1. Getting older I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I have figured out that if I say “no” it makes most of these things go away. “I don’t feel like it” also works rather well. My friends and family have learned that saying those things doesn’t mean I love them any less. It just means I can’t deal with whatever it is. They have also learned that if I don’t say “no” and do something I will be unhappy. No one wants to be around an unhappy Linda.

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  4. You know, I have to be honest with you here Linda, I have no idea what introvert or extrovert mean. I see these words used all the time and I, obviously, didn’t go open a dictionary and look them up. So I ask you this, my all knowing, awesome friend, which do you think I am?

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  5. I am definitely an introvert and am fine with that label. But, what I found out last year, is that I was so comfortable with reading, doing puzzles and running by myself for years that I became invisible in my own life. Extroverts demand your attention, introverts shun it. And, although it is not the intention, people can and will forget about us sometimes as we introverts do not require constant acknowledgement. Blogging has been my way of working back into the world on my own terms. I get to choose how much interaction I want at any given time. What is interesting to me is that I have become better at real world interaction too-I did not expect that. Perhaps becoming more comfortable with my blogging friends has translated into a comfort and higher social tolerance with my real world buddies. I can socialize for longer periods of time now then I could in the past. I still value and covet my alone time but I am not as exhausted after socializing in person as I once was. I have to force myself to actively work on balancing the need for solitude with fostering worldly bonds. I can say I am much happier when both are in my life.

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    1. This is so interesting! Thank you very much for sharing that. I bet a lot of us can benefit from that insight. Maybe it’s a “my choice” vs “their choice” mentality. You realized that you were being cut off and actually did something about it. If someone had to you that it was imperative for you to do this, do you think you would have? This is really fascinating. Now you have me questioning how I respond and why.

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      1. Looking back I now realize I was digging myself into a bit of a hole. I was quite isolated (no Facebook or Instagram accounts even). I wasn’t unhappy about it, just unaware of how much I had fallen from everyones radar. I was jolted out of it, in a traumatic way, and began to question everything about my situation, future and what I really wanted for myself. That was the key really. Thinking about what was best for me (not husband, kids or friends). I realized that I needed to break that familiar pattern if I wanted a more fulfilling life. Exercise had always been my stress relief and copy mechanism, but I was doing it quietly, and alone. My blog is exactly what I call it: making the most of your midlife crisis. It really has opened up my world. I am chatting with you about a really painful time in my life-I never would have done this a year ago!

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        1. I am really inspired by your journey. Blogging was something I never thought of doing till I was diagnosed with epilepsy and lost a lot of my skills (math/visual arts/and many more) but my verbal skills were retained. I have no idea why I can write. I was at the end of my rope and was depressed because I couldn’t work, drive or even do any artwork. My husband had a wonderful idea that I could be creative using words. So here I am. Like you, this is opening up my socialization on line and it is wonderful meeting so many people who like to write. Thank you so much for sharing. Being 56, I suppose I’m well past the mid-life crisis thing…or maybe it’s just stuck with me into old age! haha!

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          1. It’s good to know that there is a light at the end of the crisis tunnel! I enjoy your writing and would have never guessed that you have had any loss of talents. Congratulations on persevering and continuing to create. 😊

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            1. I’m really glad you like my stuff. I’ve been reading about your ravioli escapades and I must say: “I am in awe of you!!!” What a lovely thing to do for your in-laws. Tell me they loved it. If they didn’t love it, there is something seriously wrong. Once you get that vegetarian version down, I’ll be right over. I promise I’ll sit outside to eat cause…well…the introversion and all. haha!

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              1. They did enjoy it and are very thankful people so even if they hated it, they would not tell me that 😊
                Thank you for your kind words, and if I may ask, are you from Maine? That is where my in laws grew up and my husband was born in presque isle.

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  6. I’m an introvert that’s for sure. When I was a child my dad compared me to a “closed” person, it wasn’t very well seen. I’m not so different now, I prefer to walk alone, lost in my thoughts, I don’t enjoy attracting attention on me. I prefer to take my own decisions without asking advice (unless to my mother) she is an understanding person (very extrovert actually) but otherwise I prefer to keep to myself. I read once that a secret isn’t a secret anymore if it’s shared for two. So… I like to be an introvert, it’s safer I think.

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