stupid, Stupid, STUPID!

I suppose it was just a matter of time.

I really thought I was smarter than this, but I guess not.

I fell for an internet spammer.

 

I got an email from my aunt.  It said she was traveling and needed to send an iTunes card to our niece.  She asked me if I would do it and she would pay me back.  Sure!  She’s in her mid-80’s and I was happy to help out while she was on the road.

Here’s the sad part.  Apple actually called me to make sure it was a legitimate transaction.  In my mind, of course it was!  My aunt actually was traveling and the person she wanted to send it to had my niece’s name.  Her email address looked a little odd, but I hadn’t been in touch with her for a while, so I never thought a thing about it.

So be careful if you get an email from a relative or friend giving information that is up to date, and appears legit.  Hackers know everything about everyone.  It’s rather disconcerting to learn that they know when someone is actually traveling and a family member’s name.

I keep slapping my forehead and saying:  “stupid, Stupid, STUPID!”

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Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #94

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is  Mohamad Al Karbi’s little daughter Sham.  You can see his blog here

 

Have a joke or humorous post?

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

 

1. Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.
2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere. 3.
3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!
4. The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

 C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Ice and Mud…It Must Be Spring!

You know how I grouse about winter?  If you’ve spent any time at all reading this blog in the colder months, you know that I complain about it…a lot!  I know you’re all rolling your eyes but I don’t care because spring has arrived!  Mud season is in full swing!  It might pose some inconveniences, but mud season accompanies ice-out, and that is a much-anticipated event.

I was perusing my Facebook feed today, as I sometimes do.  Is it ‘feed’ or ‘wall?’ Hmmm, I never know what to call it.  So let’s just say I was perusing those posts on the parts of Facebook that are supposedly mine to peruse.  Anyhow, while I was scrolling through the pics of food porn and grandkids, I came upon this one that was taken by my good friend Debb Heald.  It seems to sum up this time of year nicely.  Snow in the woods and washed out roads…ice-out can’t be far behind!

I’ve often talked about our camp (tiny cottage) on our pond (lake.)  There are always parentheses that go with that description because Maine is weird and we tend to downplay stuff when we describe it.  You should see the ‘cottages’ on the coast that sell for 4 million dollars, but I digress.

The pic you see above is the road to Debb’s camp, which is across the pond from us. You may notice the tire tracks.  Mainers are an intrepid lot.  We don’t let a washed out road keep us from camp!  Especially when we are waiting for ‘ice-out.’

Ice-out is the much-anticipated process of, you guessed it, ice leaving the surface of the pond.  You can even hear it!  Take a look below and you will see the pond’s transformation from winter to spring.  Debb got some great shots starting with snow-covered ice right on through to open water.

This is what we look forward to all winter long.  This is the Super Bowl of pond life.  Touchdowns are great, but open water is sublime.

 

 

 

 

 

Guest in Jest #93 Afterwards

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is  Afterwards

 

Families

We all have them.  Mostly.  I mean there are those that don’t see them, or don’t particularly care for them.  There are those that have disowned them and live a blissful existence where they are never obliged to try and see them once a year so as to not feel like a complete bastard –  even though a reciprocal visit is as unlikely as is a simple thanks for the present you sent their kids.

Heavens I am sure there are people out there who don’t have to like someone simply because they fell out of their vagina.

Okay so thinking about it I will admit that there are those who have, by fate or choice, simply ended up without any.   But we’ve all had them at some point then.  Let’s settle on that shall we.

Anyway my point was that I wanted to share a tale or two from mine this week.

I have two boys and like to think I’ve done my best and when last week the youngest looked most upset when watching a TV show about cancer patients and how 2 in 4 people will get the disease I thought “yeah, empathy, good qualities.”  Mrs’ Afterwards eyes welled up as we were encouraged to dial in and pledge just £2 to cancer research and she looked over to Aterwards Junior and assured him that it was okay, it was just part of life, but before she was able to assure him further he explained that “fingers crossed it’s you and dad that get it” and not him and his brother..

I see a career in politics or the church for him surely.

There was also an incident at the end of a particularly tricky day with my eldest who, despite being a lovely gentle boy, is prone to outbursts of profanity when I am perhaps a little less understanding of his hormonal situation as I might be.  He is 14 after all.  Anyway, the boys were tucked in bed and I came down from checking on them and Mrs Afterwards insisted that wasn’t it good that he hadn’t once insisted I fuck off this evening.  Straight faced.

To make it worse I actually agreed thinking yeah, I am fucking super dad!

The week though was crowned by a moment of such glorious madness that I believe I will be telling the tale for many a year.

A particular family member came out you see.  After more than four and a half decades a certain someone decided that in fact he was gay and had been fighting it for many years and was ready to admit to it and see where that lead.

More wonderful than this act of self acceptance though was his mother’s response.

She insisted that if that was his choice then he better not use her tooth brush ever again and there was absolutely  no way she would ever again eat any of his leftovers.

I mean what the fuck.

Dissect that as you will.

I mean does she think she will catch something from him using her toothbrush?  To be fair I don’t want to share one with anyone regardless of who they choose to place themselves inside.  Does she think she will catch syphilis if she eats his leftover sausage roll?

Does she think you can catch gay?

She is 75 so maybe she is worried she will eat half of his cheese and pickle sandwich and wake up desperate for a shaven headed tattooed lass to eat her out and then insist she fist her and there’s no way she can, not with her arthritic wrists?!?!

Oh god maybe Freddie Mercury got aids after sharing a family size bag of crisps with some bloke in a night club toilet?

People eh.

Have a joke or humorous post?

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

 

1. Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.
2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere. 3.
3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!
4. The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

 C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #93

Join us tomorrow!

 

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is  Afterwards

 

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

1. Write up something amusing. 
2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere
3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!

 

 The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Yes, I’m One of ‘Those’ People.

April 14th, 2019 is a special date for some people.  Yes, yes, it’s the day before Tax Day.  But that’s not why it has been anticipated for so long by so many.  Yes, you know who you are… who ‘we’ are.

We are the folks who have been waiting for a year and a half for the last season of Game of Thrones.  I can hear the groans by those of you have managed to avoid this show for all of these years. I know, every late night talk show has been plagued by one cast member or another.  Magazines have been peppered with articles.  The evening news even had a piece about it.  One would think that GOT rules the universe.

I’m not sure about ruling the universe, but it certainly ruled this house tonight.  We watched the news until 10 minutes before the show began.   I didn’t even have to throw Bill out of the living room.  He knew better.  He quietly slinked off to the kitchen to read his newspaper until he was allowed back.  Until he dared to come back.  You see, he hates anything that even remotely resembles fantasy.  The worst part is that he can’t refrain from making snarky comments.  So he was banished.  He was banished but good!

So the show came and went.  In my case, it came and went twice.  Had to see it again…just had to.  I would have waited till later for the second showing but Bill was practicing guitar so what’s a gal to do?

No spoilers here, but if you are one of ‘us,’ I know you’ll watch and enjoy.  Whatever will we do after this final season is over?  I do hear there is a prequel in the works. May the gods help us all…especially Bill.  😉

 

 

 

Deer and Dogs in Springtime.

Snow makes for some interesting behavior when spring comes around.  Animals aren’t quite sure how to deal with the receding snow.

Years ago, I was quite amused by the fact that the dogs would pee only on the snow that was left over until it was melted and they had no choice.  It still strikes me as odd, even after all of these years of witnessing the behavior by one dog after another.

This week I’ve been watching the deer quite a bit.  We have a lot of them in the field behind the house.  I rarely see a deer lying down, but this week I’ve seen a number of them all resting on the last bits of snow.  The field is mostly bare, though there is plenty of snow on the shady parts.  That is where I saw the deer in repose.

I suppose that behavior is like that of the dogs peeing on the snow.  They do what they’ve done for months until the circumstances change.  I suppose we humans are much the same.  Short-term memory makes for easy decisions on what to do next.  Long-term memory makes us who we are.  I wonder if the deer and the dogs would agree.

Guest in Jest #92 Silently Smouldering Words

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is  Silently Smouldering Words

No secret around here that I love Linda very smooshily.
So of COURSE I am submitting one of my favourite jokes.
Now, while I am more of a words girl, than a numbers girl, this joke makes me giggle.

 

What did the 0 say to the 8?

“Hmmm…wearing a belt today, are we?!”

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

 

1. Write up something amusing. 
2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere
3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!

 

 The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Guest in Jest and Weekly Request #92

This week’s  “Guest in Jest” guest is

 

 Silently Smoulering Words

 

 

Have a joke or humorous post?

 

Please join us in our Guest of Jest series

 

Please submit your guest posts to mainepaperpusher@yahoo.com and they will be published in order of submission every Friday here at Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

 

Here are the rules:

 

1. Write up something amusing.  It doesn’t have to be “laugh out loud” funny, but a bit of humor would be great.
2. The post can be one that has been posted before, elsewhere. 3.
3. Multiple submissions are encouraged!
4. The piece can be anything that is humorous.  A story, a recollection, even something as simple as a joke.

 

 C’mon, you know you want to!  Why should we have all the fun?

 

 

The featured image was created by Silas at  My weird, crazy and mundane life Journal 

Not Tonight, Deer

It’s not an uncommon occurrence for me to complain about cold weather.  There is an old Maine expression saying that there are “11 months of winter and one month of rough sledding.”  That might be a little extreme, but today it seemed to be a little too close to the truth.

It was a beautiful day, yesterday.  We enjoyed 80F temps in the sunroom.  The field was covered by grass turned brown by snow and cold weather.  The snow had finally gone, the temps were lovely, and spring was here!  You might notice that I said ‘was.’

As we watched the deer browse the field, eating the long brown grass, it was hard to imagine that the weather folks were talking about a storm.  I wanted to tell them that it wasn’t going to happen. “Not tonight, deer!”  There would certainly be more grass to nibble today.  There was no way that storm was going to hit here after such a gorgeous day.

I was wrong.  It came.  It continues to come.  4 inches of snow, and more on its way.  It doesn’t seem fair, especially to the deer who are struggling to find every calorie they can after a long winter.  This afternoon they came a little closer to the house trying to find whatever they could.  This one was right outside my bedroom window munching a twig Bill cut last fall from a crabapple tree in the front yard.